To live as you desire

What is right for one person may not be right for another. Social pressures! Let’s break ideals. So every one of my age are doing this ... but I’m not, but what does it matter?

We all do things in life when we are ready and some of us need to be in certain stages of our life for longer than others. We are all different.

I often get asked when am I going to have kids; honestly I think to myself why are people asking me such personal questions. I have got screamed at, lectured. I have got incredibly upset too when I was recently bombarded with nonstop comments. It is like just leave me alone and mind your own business. I call it mental harassment. One should not have so called expectations placed upon them because it’s the so called “social norm”. I think that happiness precedes all this garbage. We have to be happy. I am happy with my life and what I am doing. I am on my way with what I want to do and things are falling into place.

Social pressures are so annoying. It really irritates me. Why can’t we talk about life and the deeper questions as to why we are here and what is our purpose? I have been thinking about this a lot recently. Looking back when I did my GCSES and how there was a huge hype in our community for those who got As but what about being nice and polite and being a good person. These aspects are forgotten I feel. Sometimes these aspects of life get overlooked which are the most important. Communication is also important. Some may be able to do exams but if they can’t communicate socially then it’s difficult to get far in life. Occasionally I have heard recently parents proudly say my nephew got …. for GCSES and my niece got .... What are we doing to the next generation? I feel that these behaviours are being imposed indirectly on the next generation. We do not want history to repeat itself. I think grades at the end of the day is nothing to be really proud of, we can’t take our certificates to our grave. When we die no one thinks about that person studied this , worked in this field, bla bla bla. People think about the actual person and their attributes at a deeper level. Our grades are nothing do to with who we are as a person.

I was talking to one of my cousins about GCSEs recently and I was told they were stressed about GCSES and I said don’t worry about it. This is the age where we have to enjoy ourselves , kids aren’t even allowed to be kids anymore. I also heard from another friend who was worried about their 11+. What is happening in this world? We don’t want to all follow the institutional way of life . What about being a child and enjoying ourselves and forgetting about homework and having fun. Being happy goes above all of these petty things. I think some people in our community still have the wrong idea of life and think about the competition, from grades, to hierarchy in society. It’s all nonsense in my view. There needs to be a balance in life with all these things from a young age to help a child grow and develop themselves and become mentally strong individuals. I feel that unnecessary pressure especially socially is what I think later affects mental health. It can be something that is simple as teasing someone that they are fat and laughing. This is something I have observed in childhood happen a lot. At the time the bully may think it is nothing but overtime some kids can be affected by this in the long-term. Has anyone ever thought about the implications of what something like this can do? Maybe this could be linked to leading someone to self-harm or suicide.

I’m very ambitious and have several goals. I feel I have been really pushing myself to get over some hurdles in my life recently and each time I fell it hurt, it hurt bad but each time I tried to stand up again. It took time and the more I fell the more I felt like I couldn’t get up anymore but I told myself I’m going to try and get back up and stand tall. Why should I lose myself in this process? It is not worth it I told myself. I have to keep reminding myself I am here in this world for a greater purpose, we all have our mission and for me only time will tell where I end up going but I believe I will reach my goal. All of us in life should have a life of purpose with goals to help guide us to become better human beings.

Life is about understanding and being able to bring out the best in all of us. Sometimes there will be so many challenges along the way but that is what makes us stronger.

My writing maybe a bit controversial but again I am doing this for myself to vent and for my own mental wellbeing. Last time I wrote my blog it helped me so much. My space to vent about my random thoughts. Thanks to those of you who got in touch with me last time and gave your support. It was very much appreciated and meant a lot to me. I got to start thinking about my next blog now. I am looking forward to it.