To Believe in Myself

Felt so lost since Kannan’s passing

It is still so hard to believe

Shattered to pieces I was

It takes time to mend they say

However, each snippet of happiness

brings along with it a deep sadness

It is a challenge, and thought it would be easier

But I wonder whether it is harder but I have become stronger

Having strength to carry on with the journey of life

Each ending, comes with it a new beginning

The discovery of who I am

And what I am capable of

But why did it have to be this way

Hard to comprehend and just wish he would knock at the door one day

I guess he has been knocking in my mind for the last almost 9 years

Where has the time gone, it is hard to believe

It was only yesterday that we were fighting for our favourite spot on the sofa

I feel you deep within me, and have felt you around during my troubles

It also made me think about what is actually important

We can’t please everyone is something I have learnt

And you can’t say yes to everyone as much one may want to

There needs to be a balance

Will time ever fully mend the pieces together within me

It has been and still is being put together much stronger

Taking challenges in my stride

A new Aranee, I feel

At that moment of shock, life just stopped

I lost who I was

I didn’t know anything anymore

I was trying to find myself

It’s so hard when he believed in me

And that belief pulled me forwards

Constant encouragement

And all the jokes along the way

He believed in me and my abilities

Much more than I ever believed

Mind over matter I told myself

And it doesn’t matter how long it takes

Perseverance, dedication

Still a life long battle with myself

To remember who I am rather than all the aesthetics

Life is much more than dreams

Finding a purpose in my life

To discover who I really am

I am Aranee

And that’s all there is and will ever be