Letting go, unity and the citizen of dharma

The art of letting go

Life is a strange one in every aspect of life, as there is a need to let go. Sometimes it is just easier holding on to what we are familiar with rather than letting go. It is however easier said than done. But I guess sometimes letting go may help us climb up higher the mountain of purpose. Stepping in some deeper thoughts of, who am I? What am I here to achieve? What am I actually here to do? Recently I have neglected myself and when one does this it starts affecting one’s health. It is almost as if I am running but my mind and body is completely out of sync. It is time for re-calibration and rejuvenation I feel. I start doing things to make myself feel better about myself for example changing my hair, trying some new vegan place. I recently bought some lavender oils to rub on my wrists too and also bought some ashwagandha that I’ve been adding to my cereal. It is the little perks in life that put a smile on our face and keeps us going.

Collage of Kanna's pics

Furthermore, I hate stagnation. The moment I feel I am not moving forwards I feel shackled, completed chained as if I am stuck and not feeling free. My freedom for my spirit and well-being is the best thing for me and that has taken some sacrifice which is not ideal. It is strange how there are old social constructs with no room for creativity. We have to be the ones who create space for that creativity. Life is much more than what we perceive. There is more to life. It is strange how everything has its purpose, for example with what Kannan did by taking his own life. I would not be who I am today if it was not for him, so indirectly he helped me grow. I have searched in numerous ways to help myself grow threefold. Keep growing I tell myself; that is the only way, I cannot stay still. I will constantly look to learn and expand my knowledge so that my path becomes crystal clear and new paths are created. Sometimes I fear moving forwards because I thought Kannan would be here with me. He is but in a different way. I need to be brave and take steps to fulfil what I came to fulfil. I just came across this email when searching for an old mail. Love him so much and miss him!

An email from Kannan back in 2007

The challenges of unity

Kannan used to be so cheeky with Lux and I. I still remember him coming back from uni and running to hug him and yelling, “Kannan’s here, Kannan’s here”. He is my younger brother. I always thought he was a lot wiser than me. I still think he is as he is constantly teaching me things I did not realize about myself. He has helped pave the way for a new way of thinking in me. There is no need to follow society. We have to follow our heart and what we want to achieve with our goals. Each person’s life is there for a different purpose. Furthermore, there are only a handful of people who are trying their best to help society whole heartedly. When we are in trouble and we call out for help, the ones who come running to help immediately, they are one of a kind. You know who you are. Life savers I call them. These people have a kind of unity that is symbiotic with my soul, my kindred spirits!

Luxmy and Kannan

In adversity is when we realise who of those around us are true. I remember years ago near the time of Kannan’s passing, I screamed many times at different people because I was trying to understand what happened to Kannan and we were interrogated left right and center. There was one particular cousin who still stuck by my side regardless of my screaming. I lost a lot of ties at that time. But this cousin of mine stood by my side and understood me and is still supporting me now. I understood that they understood me and what I was going through at the time. I am ever grateful to those who still stand by me and support me during the difficult times. I never understood and I still don’t understand what happened but I guess that is just the way it is.

Us 3 on Amma's birthday

Unity in thought, word and deed is needed to achieve anything in life. This is what Swami says. I recently took part in a discussion about this with other Sai young adults. It is hard though. I guess this was the answer I was looking for. There is no point if the head, heart and hand are not unified. It can be so difficult to keep thought, word and deed more unified. Sometimes we might think something and do something else. That is not being true to ourselves. It can be quite complex though as there are several layers in life and it is not so simple. However, there are some philosophers there who explain that life is simple and to live in the present moment. It is not that easy but I guess it is about trying. When I do feel happy and in that ultimate bliss I feel something phenomenal, living in the moment happy and glee.

Kannan feeding Amma cake

The exemplary citizen

This is not the easiest of tasks being human and having a mix of traits. It is important serving society but at the same time to be humble and not think much of ourselves. It is important to try and be selfless, with no expectation in return. Often even when we do something there a return and that return is a type of bliss. I feel that happiness is unique. The moment you know you have made a difference to someone’s life, it makes me happy. We have to be complacent though as there are times when that help may not be wanted. I guess we just have to try our best to be good people.

Sharing love, peace, truth, non-violence and right action are important. These values help us build a better life for ourselves whatever belief system we may have. Normally as we follow one human value the others naturally follow.

Kannan carrying Neel

Reflections of the years

I was flicking through some old photos and came across these. These photos bring so many memories. Watching my niece and nephew grow, makes me reflect back to my childhood and us growing up. The hard truth is that life does eventually come to an end. I guess we should therefore live each day as if it were our last and in this way, live in the moment and be the best versions of our self that we can be with each and every day. It has been a while; hope you have enjoyed this blog. Thanks to those who keep supporting me on this journey.