Can we break the stigma around mental health?
Physical health problems versus mental health problems
There is a strange notion that physical problems are given so much more importance compared to mental health issues. Why is that the case? For example if I had an injured arm it may be taken more seriously than if I had voiced that I really don’t feel good in myself. “Often you’re fine, you will be fine, it is not that bad” is said by loved ones to help comfort and the expression of how someone feels is sometimes suppressed leading to blockage of emotions. Listening to the person and their story takes patience, and in some ways everyone does not have the ability to listen and empathise but I guess it is important to try and improve oneself. I also find this difficult sometimes. Maybe asking “How are you doing?” and if the person answers feeling fine to ask again and maybe ask how their day is going and to get to know in more depth may give more insight and sometimes the person may actually start to open up more. Sometimes a video call or meeting face to face may help know someone’s facial expression too as that can help. Observing body language too in understanding how someone feels in themselves is useful.
There is a false fear in society and especially culturally that mental health issues don’t exist. It is as if we are in denial that such things exist. It needs to be taken seriously. I am talking from my own experience of going through the effects of bereavement.
The false image
Being fine is not just about looking the part. Several of us can look the part but is that image a true reflection of who we are as a person and how we feel? For example a few years ago I put a picture of myself all happy and smiley on holiday, there was an assumption that I had an amazing time; this was not the case at that time. The photos we take in life are when we are happy or even when we have a smile glued to our face. Who takes a picture when we are sad? No one wants to remember that. But, have you ever thought, “What is the story behind that smile?” We can all smile and some are better than others to cover how we actually feel behind the smile.
Think about this, someone lifts a camera to take your photo and asks you to smile, you may still smile but not portray how you actually feel on the outside. I am sure most of us have done it and if we don’t look good we normally ask for a retake.
But above all of this it is about how we manage our emotions in daily life. We have a role at work, at home and with our social networks. Sometimes that role in itself has a way of furthermore covering how we truly feel as we are trying to do our duty at its highest and it is only when we are alone in our own space do we actually start to reflect on how we actually feel.
The importance of talking about mental health
Recently we started a mini project to try and increase mental health awareness and to discuss topics such as blocking emotions and social pressures. So far we have had 2 zoom calls amongst us. It has been really good and I have managed to connect with a few of you. Thank you to those who joined the calls and supported me on this venture. I think is it is really important to talk about mental health. It is great to have meaningful conversations about life too. In the past when we meet in fleeting, it’s a quick, hi, how are you? Bye type conversation. This venture has allowed us to get closer as friends and family. It really means a lot to me. Thank you once again!
“According to Tantra everyone is ill who is doomed to live with a limited personality. Only those who go beyond time, space and causation become immortal can be said to be truly in harmony with the cosmos and therefore truly healthy, since health is derived both from internal balance and from harmony with the environment”; this is from “a book called Aghora by Robert R Svoboda which gives some insight into the depths about why it is so important to explore life and its philosophies.
Below is a summary of what we spoke about in one of the recent meet ups we had on zoom.
What causes blockage of emotions?
Ignoring own emotions
Pretending emotions don’t exist
Keeping yourself busy
It could be unknown to the individual affected
Pressures of fitting the cultural/social “norm” (Looking perfect on the outside e.g. smile glued on face and on social media portraying the “perfect” life)
Judgement of others (Assumptions)
Fitting yourself into a box (a particular stereotype, and being labelled)
Labelling from the past
Over- protection from family/friends
Comparison with others (life is not a checklist – there is more to it, we are all at different points in our life and that is unique to us.
What happens when you block your emotions?
Makes one more angry
Sudden outbursts when least expected
Irritable as unable to process emotions
Bottling makes you more stressed (e.g. shaking a fizzy drink, what happens once opened – it is out of control)
Anxiety/depression increases
Maybe in heightened state of panic
What helps you understand and work through your emotions?
Being your authentic self, i.e. being true to who you are as a person
Doing what you want in life and not following what is expected of you
Having confidence in yourself and your abilities
Living with a purpose in life
To push through even when it gets difficult
Having supportive friends and family
Having a therapist to talk to regularly
Not being afraid of the unknown
How do we identify mental health problems?
When someone gets more quiet than usual
Avoiding social interaction completely
Hard getting out of bed and functioning
Sometimes it’s hard to see it on the outside as we hold the perfect smile
Sudden anger
Severe mood swings
Do you find it easy opening up to parents/elders when it comes to your mental health?
Yes , I can talk about how I feel but I am not sure if I am completely understood sometimes
No Because I don’t think they will understand
I don’t think they understand what mental health is and sometimes physical ailments are given much more importance compared to mental.
(There's this thing as if nothing should affect my mental health because “they are fine” I should be fine too)
How do you manage your emotions?
Exercise can help lifting yourself and to combat negative emotions
Meditation helps find stillness so emotions are not as overwhelming
Fun and laughter , doing something that brings you happiness
Journaling
Doing something creative
CBT
Hypnotherapy
Counselling 1:1 or group sessions
Immersing oneself in mindfulness (e.g. weeding)
Medication can help some people
Below is the link if you need more professional help. There is nothing to be ashamed of if you need help. I have had help before. We all need help sometimes. It takes courage to seek the help you need. Sometimes it’s easy to talk to someone external too.
https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/nhs-services/mental-health-services/
Thank you to everyone who continually supports me on this journey. I hope you are finding these blogs useful. Lots of love to you all and hope you are keeping well. This pic made me smile the other day so thought to share.
